Unintelligent Design

A new theory for the creation of the universe has been developed and subsequently named ‘Unintelligent Design’. While the theory is new it is only slightly more recent than the increasingly discussed theory by the similar name ‘Intelligent Design’. Followers of the new theory are hoping to petition school boards across the country to teach this theory alongside Evolution and Intelligent Design and are hoping that the supporters of other similar origin science theories support their right to be included in our children’s educational curriculum.

The idea behind the theory is simple, ‘ There is simply too many things in the universe that don’t fit together or make sense’. Because of these irregularities the belief supports one of the two following options:

1)There is no sentient being who created the universe because if there were such an individual he would have to be very powerful and by his very nature smart enough not to make such mistakes

2)There is a sentient being but he is not all knowing and instead just lucky that things have worked out as well as they have despite his incompetence.

The theory is actually not that new in origins. George Carlin, an early pioneer, pointed out in the 1970s the obsevation that everything that has been created dies. At least, so far. Either there is no god and everything is just happening at random or god is just trying to get it right as he goes along. He also pointed out that god couldn’t even get two snowflakes to come out the same, some flaw in the creation of them prevents it.

According to www.stupidgod.org spokesman Frank Simpson, “Since all three are simply theories that take a leap of faith to believe in, they should all be equally represented to our children so that they can make the proper decision. And since we, as Americans, have turned over the responsibility of teaching of our children to the state, it’s up to the state to ensure that all views are expressed equally with no bias as to which one is right or wrong. We are joining with www.intelligentdesignnetwork.org in the struggle to seek institutional objectivity in origins science. And we believe that they will join us in ensuring that all sides of the issue are represented fairly in our public schools.”

I hope that they do. My long held fear is that Intelligent Design was simply a ‘slick way’ to repackage the questionable creation teachings of the bible, teachings that have been debunked for centuries but still unreasonably held on to by unthinking Christians who believe that ever word of the bible is somehow ‘sacred’ and straight from god despite the inconsistencies that the single book contains. But if that isn’t the case then they would want to ensure that they do join us in ensuring that all scientific theories about the origins of space and man are represented in our public schools.

So, make sure to contact your local school board and ask them to support the teaching of Unintelligent Design if they are going to properly ensure that institutional objectivity in origins science are enacted for the sake of our children’s education. And in the sake of the fairness we should also ensure that the Allergy Allegory should be taught as well. This theory supposes that the entire universe was sneezed out of the nose of a being called the Great Green Arkleseizure[1]. We wouldn’t want to be unfair in our science teachings, would we?

[1] Homage to the late Douglas Adams here, of course.

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